Tuesday 13 November 2012

Oh, the horror...



We're hardly halfway through November and already the dreaded Festering Season has taken over - the shops are a slew of cheap crap tinsel and unfunny cards (although I have so far yet to hear a piped version of Cliff Richard or Slade through a PA system, thankfully), the heteroids are starting to look grimmer than usual as they try and steer their screaming progeny away from the latest wildly expensive "must-have" gadgets and toys filling the shelves, and the musical bandwagon has already started in earnest, as faded former stars start to team up for their tearful Xmas collections, including these...



Rod Stewart has released his first-ever seasonal album Merry Christmas, Baby, featuring a series of duets including Michael Buble on Winter Wonderland.



The formerly cool Cee-Lo Green, not content with also appearing on Mr Stewart's Xmas album, has decided to inflict one of his own on us called CeeLo’s Magic Moment which features duets with The Muppets and Christina Aguilera. I don't know how you'd be able to tell them apart. Possibly by smell.



Just when you thought it was safe, Donny Osmond and Susan Boyle are to release their saccharine duet This Is The Moment from her new album Standing Ovation. My ears are beginning to bleed, but there's more...



As succinctly reviewed by Mike at Pop Trash Addicts, Spice Girls Emma Bunton and Melanie C "have joined forces to record an insanely tragic cover of I Know Him So Well...you need a big voice to pull it off and these sad bitches can barely hold a note between them."



And as if the tragi-comedy couldn't get any more horrifying, none other than "not gay at all" John Travolta and his unfeasibly odd hair have teamed up with the heavily Polyfilla-ed Olivia Newton John for an album of "classics" This Christmas. I've just puked in the mince pies...

Suffice to say I won't be buying any of them.

Roll on January.

Bah Humbug.

10 comments:

  1. I have just ordered Tracey Thorn's Tinsel & Lights - bah-humbug

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    1. But I bet neither Donny'n'Subo nor Mel'n'Emma are on your shopping list! Jx

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  2. Donny Osmond and Susan Boyle have morphed into twins, a sort of sister act? I would never have guessed. Do you think they'll cover "It's Raining Men"? I'd pay for that.

    And I've decided it's not John Travolta's hair that's the problem; it's his Salute-to-Joan-Crawford's eyebrows that skeeves me out.

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    Replies
    1. It is certainly the season of the freaky-looking people. At least Miss Boyle can't help it. Mr Osmond and Mr Travolta have engineered it... Jx

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  3. You know those "what's wrong with this picture" puzzles?

    What's RIGHT with these pictures?

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    Replies
    1. "One of these things is not like the others. One of these things is not the same."

      Jx

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  4. Just a few more days and that I will be in full christmas swing for both of us ;) I will obviously not be buying any of those dreadful christmas CD's though!

    Oh, and those bloody Spice Girls doing "I Know Him So Well"? I wonder if it can "top" the truly AWFUL cover Emma did of Mono's "Life In Mono" (*shudder*)

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    Replies
    1. I cannot bring myself to listen to it...

      Jx

      PS Exam over and done with, thank heavens!

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  5. Congrats! Mine is tomorrow morning and then I am SO ready for the weekend!

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